She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My pussy is not your playground.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
