And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
