how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
