I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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