i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
