I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize