I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
