Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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