Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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