i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
