the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
