found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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