woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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