jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
