I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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