Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
