dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
