Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
