You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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