Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
