he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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