Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
