He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
