and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
