David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize