apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize