And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize