good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
