she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
