I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
