Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
