Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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