You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
