i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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