I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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