Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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