Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
