You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
