I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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