SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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