I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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