Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
