Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
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Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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