It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am midnight drunk by noon
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
