Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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