It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
