Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize