I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You can't special order awesome
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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