dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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