I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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