it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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