I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize