God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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