She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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