He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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