I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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