Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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