and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I bet he comes in French.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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