As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
