You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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