need another drink. this is the easiest way
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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